The benefits of emptiness (really!)

I used to write thoughts and inspirations each week (or twice a week!), and I’m not sure how or why I stopped. But during this time of uncertainty, I feel like we could use a lil’ inspiration. So I’m going to start sharing quick inspiring thoughts on Buddhism and how we can all live mindfully right now. So .. here goes!

I KNOW it is tempting in modern life to read into everything people say or do. When you start dating someone you analyze every text they send, wondering what they really mean and inviting friends to offer feedback too.

If a friend says she can’t join for an event we wonder what she really means.

If a colleague declines to join a call we wonder if there’s a hidden meaning.

And yet - one of the most important themes in Buddhism is emptiness. The first time I read about this I was so frustrated and confused I threw the book, called What Makes You Not A Buddhist, across the room, slamming it into a wall. That was probably one way not to be Buddhist!

So let me try to explain this more simply.

When we’re on the Buddhist path we are encouraged to let things be .. exactly as they are. What if we let words mean precisely, and only, what they say?

When I finally returned to the East Coast in early September, I flew across the country to see my parents in Massachusetts. I patted myself on the back thinking what a great daughter I was to visit my family. (We were safe and wore masks, etc. until I got tested.)

Over lunch my first day, my Mom asked, “How long are you staying here?” I froze. I had no idea! I had just flown across the country and hadn’t thought about future plans. I wondered if they wanted me to leave. I suddenly worried if they had a nice routine that I was now interrupting! My mind raced. And I said, “Next Wednesday — I’ll leave next Wednesday.”

I’m embarrassed to share that I then spent the entire visit, and the following two months, a little resentful that I had taken this big flight during the pandemic and wasn’t really wanted while visiting my family.

Finally, two weeks ago I told my family how badly this felt, and they were confused. “I was just wondering whether to buy food for two days or two weeks!” my mother exclaimed. “We were just making conversation,” my father said.

And that was it. That really was it. They were literally curious how long I planned to stay. And for months I had held onto anger - that had no place in my mind, my heart or in reality.

This is the benefit of emptiness.

Letting things be. Exactly as they are. Including words.

What if there are no hidden messages? What if words are only words, with nothing better or worse added to them?

I know this. Intellectually. And now I am ready to live it.

I invite you, this week, to play with not reading into anything people say or do. Allow them to be.

And allow yourself to live a little more lightly. This is the Buddhist way. This IS how to be a Buddhist.

And if you're able, drop me a line about how this feels. And how it goes. I love hearing from you. And I promise to let your words — be only and simply, exactly what you say.

With love and enjoy your Sunday (and please feel free to share this with a friend who may enjoy it - that would be awesome!),

Dina