How to Break Free From an Old Identity - on Writing by Dani Fankhauser

This is from our wonderful Meditation Teacher Training graduate Dani Fankhauser - on the power of writing in community and her new Writers Bliss Bootcamp which we highly recommend - enjoy!

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If you want to write a book, run a marathon, or “quit” a toxic relationship, you have to rewrite your habits.

Sometimes there’s no grand outcome in mind—you just find yourself stuck in a rut of routine with goals that seem perpetually out of reach.

In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear makes the case that when you shift your identity, your daily habits follow. The identity is the fulcrum.

Want to write every day? Don’t call yourself an “aspiring writer,” or writing a “hobby.” Live the identity of a pre-publication Octavia Butler who is so motivated to entertain and inspire others that she wakes up early to write for an hour several times a week.

This may seem straightforward, but it’s not.

Especially when we’re stuck in “roles,” like codependence with a partner, or martyr at your corporate job, it’s not even just one habit that you can squeeze your way into, but a whole host of thoughts and behaviors, many of which may be unconscious.

I’ve contemplated the biggest leaps in my life, which led to more aligned work and greater satisfaction, and they all came with an identity shift. But, they didn’t happen alone.

They happened in a group.

We are social beings. We are constantly reading each other, and subtly shifting our words and behaviors to impress or please the people who surround us.

I remember when I met someone who told me he was going to spend the weekend working on a writing project. It was a breath of fresh air, because that’s what I wanted to do with my free time, but I constantly judged myself as a “loser” for not socializing more, and thus got nothing done, even though I had the time.

The fastest way to shift your identity is to find a group who has the identity you want.

When I was launching a startup, I joined a group of “trailblazing women” where coworking on weekends and quitting your job was celebrated. Before I quit my job to work on fiction, I was in a 2-hour weekly writing group for a full year, regularly learning craft and getting my writing critiqued.

Who do you want to be? What group can you join that represents that new identity?

The power of group belonging to shift habits is the philosophy behind Writers Bliss Bootcamp. I don’t believe in the old-school “sit your butt in a chair and get it done” approach. That can work, but if you want writing to be fun (which produces better writing IMO), then—belong to a group of writers.

My approach is actually modeled after The Path, a meditation teacher training I took back in 2022. At that time, I’d gotten into meditation to boost my creative flow. I’d taught yoga for more than a decade, so I already knew how to guide people.

What I didn’t have was my own daily meditation practice.

The program includes a commitment to doing a 25-minute silent meditation every day. And guess what happened: Because “everyone else” was doing it, I did it too.

Halfway through the 3-month program, I started having cinematic dreams. I’d wake up, literally every morning, with a clear memory of these bizarre otherworldly adventures I’d been on (huge perk for a sci-fi writer).

Regular meditation helps me focus during writing sessions, and it also puts my thoughts in slow motion so I don’t get triggered the way I used to.

Being in the group gave me accountability that led to a lasting life change. I continued my 25-minute sits long after the program’s completion and eventually went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat in the same spiritual tradition.

Meditation is a game-changer for writers, and that’s why I include it in all of my courses. The trick is that you don’t always notice a difference when you meditate … but you DO notice a difference when you skip a day

I first heard about The Path from a friend who’d graduated, and I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who is seeking community  as they birth a new identity, and a greater inner connection.